we sit… waiting for 2008 to peace out and 2009 to walk in like a relative whose life has taken them far from home and their return brings with it newness, fresh air, 1000 smiles and the anticipation of happiness. congratulations senator obama.
we also sit waiting for the end of this disastrous economic downturn, and the state of our finances to do a full 180 and bring with it jobs, jobs and dare i say it… relief. sure, i told y’all this was gonna happen in february but did i think it was going to be this bad? never in my wildest dreams. i sit here typing at work (before hours of course) because i don’t have a computer anymore (people are hungry and will steal the food out of your mouth) at a job that’s about to end soon (companies are downsizing and trying to save what little money they have left), hoping that my dreams will remember me and that my gifts will make room for me in this world. ladies and gentlemen, now is the time when the truth and lies of the american dream (read nightmare) will be brought stage front and illuminated for all to see. did you believe? or did you have the wherewithall to have your own dreams, to not be suckerpunched by the “go to school, get a career, find a mate, buy a home, build a fence and 401k, get 2.6 cars and have 2.5 kids and a small but fiesty canine in the yard” foolishness that has left millions upon millions of people without pot to piss in or window to throw it out of. *shrugs*
on the edge. ever stood on the edge of something? a stair, a building, a curb a cliff? when i was younger i’d stand on the edge of my skateboard. surfers call it “hanging ten” because the ten toes would be left out there over the edge of the board, doing whatever it is toes do. in this case, providing balance. but metaphorically, standing on the edge seems almost akin to standing on the edge of a cliff somewhere preparing to jump. there’s fear, hope, danger, risk, excitement and absolutely no safety. you can see the bottom, the sides, the front and everything that could possibly be in your way between where you are and where you want to go, but you still don’t know just what will happen once you take that dive. i watch cliff diving and base jumping alot on television and what i’ve learned is, the thing that separates a highlight video from a hospital visit is chance. maybe a quick change in the wind’s direction, or a snag in the suit or chute, whatever you’re using and you are now face, back or leg first in some serious trouble. it keeps some from jumping at all, but entices others to keep jumping. what’s the correllation?
we are standing on the shores of this river, madmen are chasing us and just before us is this vast body of water, deep enough for us all to drown, but just on the other side there is freedom. we can’t walk across it, swim across it or jump in a boat because we have none. but this group of madmen with their bloodthirsty leader and barbaric troops advances yet closer as we bemoan our fate. what do we do? what did they do?
on the edge we find ourselves closer to the source of all our being. we see nothingness in front of us as if it is all we will ever have. we see defeat as if it is our only destiny, we see fear as if it were our only friend. but the difference between the man who won’t jump to stay safe and the one who has wounds and continues, risking life and limb, to heave his body off a cliff is faith. in whatever. he may have faith in that nylon blend parachute he’s holding in his hands, or he may have faith in the hands he knows he’s resting in even as he prepares to jump. either way, there is a seed of something stronger than his humanity at work. and it works. facing the red sea, the recession, quitting smoking, dieting, going back to school, getting a new job, living a better life, becoming a better person, chasing dreams, whatever your edge is, understand that the only person who can make the difference between a life well lived and just an existence is you. do you dare?